Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
