Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
