I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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