You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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