she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
