Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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