Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
