I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
