Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
