So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize