there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
