Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
