People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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