I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
