you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
