Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
