went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
