The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
