Ambien. No doubt about it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
