He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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