so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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