there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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