oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize