Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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