i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize