so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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