My nipple is on Facebook.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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