There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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