I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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