I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
