I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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