Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
