hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize