I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think i scared a bird with my dick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
