I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
