omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So much rum. So many feels.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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