YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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