You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
