btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
