Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
