that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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