Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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