i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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