she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
