Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize