quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
