ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
