He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
