Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
