I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
