Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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