i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
