We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
