Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
