I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
