This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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