It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
