butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
