Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize