I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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