Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
