I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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