she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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