Only a mothe r could love this liver
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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