FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's blow job season.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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