That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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