We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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